Hey! Yes, I know it's been a WHOLE year. It's been a long, hard, and crazy year and maybe one day I will divulge the things that have happened in the last year. During this season, there has been a few topics that I have been wanting to write about and I just haven't seemed to have the energy to do so. However, I have the energy today and am taking advantage. The other day I wrote about church hurt on my Instagram. I wrote about those that become offended by the things others say and then I received a comment essentially saying "what about the person doing the offending?" I think it's important to acknowledge that person as well because that's really where it begins.
My original post was about the fact that hurt people hurt people and the church is full of hurting people. The church is a hospital for the sick and not a museum for the saints. What I failed to mention is even if you are hurting it doesn't give you the right to hurt others. My focus in that post was just to make sure that the people who are offended don't blame the entire church nor do they leave without trying to create a group/community of people that would do the very opposite and uplift and encourage first. There are those in the church that are positive and encouraging.
So how do we avoid church hurt? How do we avoid offending others? I want to provide 2 practical ways that we can use to abstain from offending others. It's important that even when we are hurting we don't walk in that hurt and begin to hurt others. So how do we make sure we don't do this?
1. Test your attitude - "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ had." (Romans 15:5) "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ" (Philippians 1:27) Is your attitude one of encouragement and one that mirrors Christ? If not, then maybe it's not the best time to make the comment or have the conversation. Sometimes, we walk into church with a foul spirit or attitude and we have conversations not realizing that the foul attitude we had is now affecting others. Sometimes its best to just remain silent until we overcome the attitude. Remember: if you have nothing nice to say dont say anything. What I like to say and remind myself is if your attitude stinks its best to remain silent no one likes to smell the funk.
2. Is what you're going to say/do have the POTENTIAL to offend/hurt others? "Know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." (James 1:19) "We put no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry." (2 Corinthians 6:3) " And give no opportunity to the devil." (Ephesians 4:27) Sometimes we say things because it wouldn't offend us if the tables were turned but that is not how we should determine what to say. It's not about you. For example, if we see someone at church that we haven't seen in a while, we should avoid saying things like "Wow, haven't seen you here in a while, where have you been?" This sort of statement seems innocent but actually can cause a lot of offense. There could be many different factors and reasons as to why someone isn't there and if you haven't reached out to them during their "hiatus" then it almost sometimes seems like judgment. And let's be honest it never feels good to be judged or feel like you are. Instead, consider saying "It's so good to see you!" and leave it there.
Sometimes offense cannot be stopped; some people walk in offense as a stronghold. For these people, they are looking for reasons to be offended (subconsciously or consciously) but that is not your focus. Your focus is to test your attitude and determine whether your next action will be encouraging or have the potential to cause an offense. However, if you have ever been offended (as I have) remember these scriptures as they can help in the time off need: "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense" (Proverbs 19:11) "When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly." (1 Peter 2: 23)
With love 💜
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