Hey Ya'll! I missed you; I know I missed posting last week. Hard stop-there's no excuse but I am here this week to provide another key to creating a healthy heart. Yes, it's a heavy topic and I know you're wondering what this has to do with emotional stability. Once you realize that forgiveness is more for you than it is for the other person; you will see the correlation. Forgiveness is another crucial process in creating an emotionally stable life. I must admit; this for most people is not easy or simple.
First and foremost, if you've never heard it before your feelings and hurts are valid. Period. So many times we are invalidated when we express ourselves to others that instead of the situation becoming better we become bitter. We begin to close ourselves (our heart) off to others because we don't want to feel the compiled pain anymore. I get it; trust me, I do. Let loving yourself be enough reason to forgive. Learn to acknowledge your own pain and the validity of it so then you can begin to move forward.
One thing that is important to understand is forgiveness is a decision and a process. The reason forgiveness if a process is because we are humans with feelings; we cannot make them go away overnight. But like I said in previous blogs, our feelings are fleeting and can be very deceiving. This is why we must take time to feel and think logically; we must learn the art of empathy and understanding-- for the acused and the acuser (these aren't words...I know).
Understanding forgiveness is far more complicated than I can write in this blog post but I was listen to this women give her testimony and she laid out a great way to start the process of forgiveness. The woman was the author of Forgiving What You Can't Forget, Lysa TerKeurst. She told a story of forgiveness for her husband who had been unfaithful for some time. Lysa began going to a Christian therapist (a topic for another day) who provided a long-term aid/solution for when Lysa found herself feeling hurt and overwhelmed by the pain. The therapist told her that when she found herself feeling uncapable of forgiving all she should say is "I forgive this person (for the fact of how they hurt me) and whatever my feelings will not allow, the blood of Jesus will surely cover." A simple statement yet freeing. Overtime Lysa was able to forgive those little things that would come up unexpectedly and try to take her out emotionally.
I say it is freeing because when we hold onto unforgiveness we are bound and not able to move forward. This is why I said at the beginning forgiveness if more for you then the other person. We can never be emotionally stable and have a healthy heart of we don't forgive. The reason being is if one person says something triggering (another topic for another day) it can send us into a dark spiral. That is not stable.
Looking at Bible passages on this topic, the majority of them talk about forgiving others like Christ forgave us or forgiving others so Christ can forgive us. Either way it causes a positive chain reaction and the outcome is always in your favor. If it feels like too much and overwhelming, remember it's a process; most forgiveness won't happen overnight. Use that saying mentioned earlier as a first step and allow yourself to feel just don't stay there long. Continue to move forward and heal. I hope this makes sense and helps you to create a more emotionally stable and healthy heart.
Wish me Love 💗
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