JustWrite

 It's been a while and I missed you. The last blog was all about how I am not ready for a relationship. Since then and exposing myself to the 50 people who read this blog, I have been doing alot of praying. Praying and asking God to change my appetite. At first this prayer was directed toward my physical appetite. If you know me, you know I do not like vegetables. I am actually allergic to most in my brain. Like my mouth repels veggies, or at least it used to. It didn't take long before I started to feel like the over processed foods I was used to eating all tasted fake and plastic-y. It left a foul after taste. So, that got me thinking.  Of course, I have to take everything to a deep level because that's how God made me. I began to wonder why I allowed myself to eat the way I was, to gain the weight that I did. I came to a conclusion to made me incredibly sad. Because I didn't understand why I wasn't accepted in past relationship, like they didn't "choose...

I want to tell ya'll a story about what happened last weekend. I was at MetroMart getting some food for dinner because, well we were hungry and it was 9pm. I am there in a very faded, kinda flaking Tupac shirt with leggings and wannabe Birkenstocks. I mean bumming it and I see this tall, slender black guy and we make eye contact. I smile and quickly go back to dissecting the ingredients of cheese because for some reason they add the most  unnecessary things, even in block cheese! Anyways, I digress, so I figure out what I need and I move on to getting our favorite potstickers (I don't check the ingredients on this because I don't want to responsible). I find them, hurriedly grab a bag and start walking towards the check out. As I am passing the other frozen food aisles the man appears again and compliments my shirt. I say thank you, finding it odd because the shirt is seriously falling apart. I quickly remove my gaze and continue towards check out. He checks out with a work...

     Ya'll - it has been a minute! That's a figure of speech which makes no sense because a minute is a very short amount of time but in this figure of speech it represents a long time. Anyways, I'm sure there's a word for that sort of situation but I don't know it. How are you? Man, it truly has been a year since I have written something. I honestly have had a lot I want to say and so I have said nothing. I know I'm not the only person that happens with and I'm sure that's a result of ADHD. Something about being overwhelmed all the time really just paralyzes me. It seems like my brain never stops and even when I have rested I wake up exhausted. Maybe that's a part of motherhood. I honestly am not sure. You like how I just threw that in there. Motherhood. Yes, I am a whole mother. It's been a year and I still can't believe I am someones muvah (my British accent). I am honored and absolutely terrified at the same time.      I don't know wh...

Hey! Yes, I know it's been a WHOLE year. It's been a long, hard, and crazy year and maybe one day I will divulge the things that have happened in the last year. During this season, there has been a few topics that I have been wanting to write about and I just haven't seemed to have the energy to do so. However, I have the energy today and am taking advantage. The other day I wrote about church hurt on my Instagram. I wrote about those that become offended by the things others say and then I received a comment essentially saying "what about the person doing the offending?" I think it's important to acknowledge that person as well because that's really where it begins.   My original post was about the fact that hurt people hurt people and the church is full of hurting people. The church is a hospital for the sick and not a museum for the saints . What I failed to mention is even if you are hurting it doesn't give you the right to hurt others. My focus i...

Hi again! I know it's been ages and I apologize as that was not my intention. This last month and a half has been very trying and difficult. However, there is no excuse; writing helps me to release stress and I should've been writing. Anyways, throughout this difficult season we moved to a new place! Thank God - our last place was a dungeon. There was no natural light in the house and it took a toll on my mental as I thrive in the sun. In the process of moving I realized how dis-attached I am to material things.  I am always so ready to get rid of everything. I would not hesitate to leave everything behind and buy all brand new things. As a matter of fact when people are attached to things it bothers me. So I got to thinking and was wondering why it bothers me so much that people have things that they don't want to get rid of. Am I the problem? Am I not normal?  I mean I most definitely am not normal. I think its hard for me to get attached to things because my mother passe...

Hey ya'll; I've missed you. And as always doing some in depth self reflections and I've been thinking about something that happened a few months. While in deep thought driving (I do not recommend), a truck pulled up next to me, at a light, and the passenger was hanging out their window to get my attention. I looked around to make sure they were talking and sure enough I was the only option. Anyways, I rolled down my window and the gentleman was telling me that if I pulled over he could look at my door and give me an estimate on how much he could fix it for.  Let's rewind, my car - a gray Toyota Corolla, was stolen by someone I know and taken for a midnight joyride while highly intoxicated. This person then hit a whale; I'm assuming, because the entirety of the driver's side was dented and scratched. When I tell you I threw their blacked out tails from my house like uncle Phil did to Jazz in the Fresh Prince of Belair, identical scene. I was livid. I can't ev...